we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you inspire me to be a worse person
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
