it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She bit a glass in half.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
sex in a hospital.. check
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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