How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
