overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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