fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
