I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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