one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize