dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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