I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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