NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
