I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
