No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize