Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
