Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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