Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
