Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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