Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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