I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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