I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have feelings that need drinking.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
