I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Are we still banned from the library?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize