I think I won the penis lottery.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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