We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
