I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
