Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
