she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
