we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize