who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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