Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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