she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
