Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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