based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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