He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
