your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
