when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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