she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Success! We fucked roommates!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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