If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize