problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
