I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
