doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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