I cockslap morals
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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