I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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