idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
