Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
