I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize