Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
