So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
