Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
