apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize