i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
