But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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