Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
