NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
