is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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