Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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