I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize