Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
