AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
