This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
