the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
