too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
soo... how was my night?
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