Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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